I don't know if I am getting older or if I just notice racthetness more often now, but there seems to be an upsurge of married men (and perhaps women) cheating on their spouses. I know both sexes cheat, but I can only really remark on my own experiences of married men doin the most.
First off, I think marriage is sacred. That's a committment two people make before God saying "We want to be together forever." I respect that to the fullest. At the same time, I understand that every relationship is different and what I think is right or true for me and mine might not be the same for you and yours. That's fine. With that being said...why are married men so noncholant about being married now? It's almost to the point where I don't even want to get married. I do trust my judgement as far as "marriage" goes but I'll be the first to admit I have never been in a faithful boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I'm always being cheated on, and that's probably because I'm a jerk. I tell people all the time "The LAST thing you want is for me to not care anymore." And I mean it. Either way I am not a great boyfriend picker. So enough with boyfriends.
Anyway...back to the topic at hand. My best friend hits me up recently about going on a date with a married man, and there is another married man interested in her. A few of my other girl friends are in the same boat. Some of them are dating married men and some of them are just constantly having to turn a married man down. I don't get how women "date" married men but that's none of my business. It just amazes me that there are so many men out there who are married but still want to do their own thing. Why did you get married?
I understand some people have "open" relationships. That's fine. But what I'm talking about is the sneaky people talking about "don't text me after 8 pm", "send me a picture to my secret email", "nah my wife don't know but she don't care anyway". Stuff like that. And then men try to justify their actions "i got married too young", "she doing her thing too", "she don't want to have sex no more" or something. I don't know. I can't.
Either way. STOP IT FAM.
Stop getting married if you want to sleep with other chicks still. If you decide you want to do your thing after you get married, then get divorced. Why cheat? Why sneak around? Why have your wife facebooking random girls talking about "Why are you LIKING my man's status all the time?"
That shit is the worst.
I hate y'all.
Shout out to the men who don't cheat on their wives. I know like, 4 of y'all.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The Cinnamon Challenge
Just for laughs...I know some of you seen this before but who cares.
Twitter: www.twitter.com/flyspacequeen
Twitter: www.twitter.com/flyspacequeen
Friday, January 20, 2012
Roommates? Over It.
As some of you know my birthday was Wednesday (the 18th), and I turned 32 years old. (YES! 32! I'm old as hell). Turning 32 triggered something in me...actually, I have been thinking hard since the beginning of 2012. Esoterically, 2012 is about major change and the end of an era. I am at the end of the roommate era. I am actually at the end of a lot of things' era (wait...what?), but this blog is about roommates.
Author's Note: Let me preface this blog by saying I don't have a problem with my roommates...and I don't think it's a bad idea. I just realized this is no longer for me.
I realized a few weeks ago that I never really lived alone. I was "aware" of this fact but I didn't recognize the significance of my living situations. In college, I lived with 7 other females and it surprisingly worked out well. I can't recall any real arguments or fights my friends and I ever had. And we only had ONE bathroom (with two showers). Sure there were times when we'd be annoyed but in reality, this was probably the best roommate situation I ever had.
After graduating, I was house hopping for a few months. Then I moved in with my late ex-boyfriend. We lived together for approximately 3 years. Once we broke up, I moved into my own place but within three months, my boyfriend from NC started staying on this 2 weeks here, 2 weeks in NC schedule. Then he completely moved in and we were together for about 5 years. In June 2010, he moved out. And in October 2010, I moved to New York.
So essentially, I lived alone a total of 5 months my adult life. And I'm 32. What is my life like? Currently I'm living with my second set of roommates since I've been in NY. They are pretty cool, laid back, and I hardly see them. This fact makes me think about living alone and all of the things I could do if I did live alone. That list includes:
Author's Note: Let me preface this blog by saying I don't have a problem with my roommates...and I don't think it's a bad idea. I just realized this is no longer for me.
I realized a few weeks ago that I never really lived alone. I was "aware" of this fact but I didn't recognize the significance of my living situations. In college, I lived with 7 other females and it surprisingly worked out well. I can't recall any real arguments or fights my friends and I ever had. And we only had ONE bathroom (with two showers). Sure there were times when we'd be annoyed but in reality, this was probably the best roommate situation I ever had.
After graduating, I was house hopping for a few months. Then I moved in with my late ex-boyfriend. We lived together for approximately 3 years. Once we broke up, I moved into my own place but within three months, my boyfriend from NC started staying on this 2 weeks here, 2 weeks in NC schedule. Then he completely moved in and we were together for about 5 years. In June 2010, he moved out. And in October 2010, I moved to New York.
So essentially, I lived alone a total of 5 months my adult life. And I'm 32. What is my life like? Currently I'm living with my second set of roommates since I've been in NY. They are pretty cool, laid back, and I hardly see them. This fact makes me think about living alone and all of the things I could do if I did live alone. That list includes:
- Walking around naked
- Playing Maroon 5's "Songs About Jane" cd loudly (or Nicki Minaj...don't judge me)
- Shower/Bath combos (basically soak in a bubble bath while reading a book and drinking wine...then finishing that with a shower)
- Eating breakfast at dinner without looking like I'm poor
- Having everyone and their cousin up in my place
I have to admit, I'm a bit of a loner. When I am at home (even when I lived alone), I like to chill in my bedroom, listen to music, and play on the computer. Some people take this as me being standoffish or are offended and think I don't like them. This isn't the truth. I just like to be quiet. I like quietness. I like to be alone with my own thoughts and ideals. At the same time, I keep an open house. I like visitors. I open my house to friends and family whenever they need it. I will NOT let any one I care about be out on the street, or paying for some fancy ass hotel when they can stay with me for free. This is an issue because while I don't care, others do.
However...I need to live alone out of selfishness, and because of the fact I have never done it before. I need a good year of living alone. I start realizing that I'd rather be broke and live alone then have quite a bit of money and live under restrictions. I can't blame anyone for that...when you live with others you must compromise. But I am so over compromising. I want to do what I want when I want...and with that said, I decided once my lease is up at this new place, I will move out on my own. People will say living alone in NY is not the best idea but I can't listen to others anymore.
Anyway. Here's a picture of me at age 32.
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Friday, December 30, 2011
True Life: Drinking and Driving on 295 North
First off let me say I can't believe it's Dec 30, 2011 already. I haven't blogged as much this year as I had hoped, due to several issues. Either way, I want to end this year on a high note. I don't plan to make any resolutions and to be honest, I will probably not do a reflection blog. But I do want to share a hilarious story with you. A cautionary tale about why you shouldn't drink and drive on NYE's...
So a few years, my cousin Crystal (click her name and see her on twitter. she's a sexy model) and I decide to party it up in D.C. I am pretty sure we went to Love and we had a good time. We got quite drunk...not too drunk that I couldn't drive but just tipsy enough for me to recognize that one or two more drinks and it would be a wrap. So we decide to go back to Baltimore. We on 295 North. Halfway up 295 we realize that all the traffic is stopped. Now I'm pissed because I have to pee and I already had to take her home then go back to my house. We are sitting their kind of oblivious to what's going on.
10 minutes later, a black thug looking dude knocks on my window. Crystal is like don't open it! I'm like he can't kill us with ALL these people around. So I roll it down a little and he informs me that there is a DUI checkpoint up ahead. Immediately I'm kind of shook. It doesn't take much to get me drunk and while I'm not really drunk, I know I reek of liquor. He then says "Look, I'm too drunk to drive. I will give y'all some money if you drive me past the checkpoint and two stops up to meet my girlfriend." He flashes $20 (#sigh) and I am like oh the cops are up ahead, sure get in.
He gets in the back and proceeds to have the most gangsta conversation with someone. Talking about the club, his girl, hustling, all this mess. He mentions how he parked his car on the side of the highway and to send one of his "boys" to come pick it up. One who is clean. I am like OMG we are stupid. Crystal is drunk and half sleep. We pull up to the cops and you know how that goes. I am chewing HARD on a piece of gum.
Cop: "ma'am where are you coming from"
Me: "Love the Club"
Cop: "Have you been drinking?"
Me: "Ummm...one or two drinks. Nothing too serious."
Crystal: "Hey officer!!!!!" (at this point, his partner goes to her side and begins chatting it up with her. She's flirting so it's nothing"
Me: "I'm NOT drunk"
Cop: *flashes light in back, dude in back waves* Okay ma'am. Ya'll be safe.
And we pull off. Drop random dude off at the exit and keep it moving to Baltimore $20 richer.
That short event made me realize the magnitude of the situation. I had the fear of God put in me. There have been plenty of times when I have drank (drunk?/drinked?) and drove. Thankfully no one got hurt. Yes, there was that one time I hit that car on 33rd street BUT no one was in it and it was parked funny. Either way one thing I never want to do is go to jail. Since then, no drinking and driving. What really helps is not having a car.
Happy New Year's Everyone.
Party hard.
But Drink Responsibly.
So a few years, my cousin Crystal (click her name and see her on twitter. she's a sexy model) and I decide to party it up in D.C. I am pretty sure we went to Love and we had a good time. We got quite drunk...not too drunk that I couldn't drive but just tipsy enough for me to recognize that one or two more drinks and it would be a wrap. So we decide to go back to Baltimore. We on 295 North. Halfway up 295 we realize that all the traffic is stopped. Now I'm pissed because I have to pee and I already had to take her home then go back to my house. We are sitting their kind of oblivious to what's going on.
10 minutes later, a black thug looking dude knocks on my window. Crystal is like don't open it! I'm like he can't kill us with ALL these people around. So I roll it down a little and he informs me that there is a DUI checkpoint up ahead. Immediately I'm kind of shook. It doesn't take much to get me drunk and while I'm not really drunk, I know I reek of liquor. He then says "Look, I'm too drunk to drive. I will give y'all some money if you drive me past the checkpoint and two stops up to meet my girlfriend." He flashes $20 (#sigh) and I am like oh the cops are up ahead, sure get in.
He gets in the back and proceeds to have the most gangsta conversation with someone. Talking about the club, his girl, hustling, all this mess. He mentions how he parked his car on the side of the highway and to send one of his "boys" to come pick it up. One who is clean. I am like OMG we are stupid. Crystal is drunk and half sleep. We pull up to the cops and you know how that goes. I am chewing HARD on a piece of gum.
Cop: "ma'am where are you coming from"
Me: "Love the Club"
Cop: "Have you been drinking?"
Me: "Ummm...one or two drinks. Nothing too serious."
Crystal: "Hey officer!!!!!" (at this point, his partner goes to her side and begins chatting it up with her. She's flirting so it's nothing"
Me: "I'm NOT drunk"
Cop: *flashes light in back, dude in back waves* Okay ma'am. Ya'll be safe.
And we pull off. Drop random dude off at the exit and keep it moving to Baltimore $20 richer.
That short event made me realize the magnitude of the situation. I had the fear of God put in me. There have been plenty of times when I have drank (drunk?/drinked?) and drove. Thankfully no one got hurt. Yes, there was that one time I hit that car on 33rd street BUT no one was in it and it was parked funny. Either way one thing I never want to do is go to jail. Since then, no drinking and driving. What really helps is not having a car.
Happy New Year's Everyone.
Party hard.
But Drink Responsibly.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Life in NYC: One Year Later
I moved to NY on Saturday, Oct 2, 2010. Today marks my one year anniversary. Time flies. In that time, I have learned a lot and I have grown as a person; but at the same time, I'm still the same old Stephanie. You ever want something so bad that you don't think about anything else but that one thing. Your whole life becomes consumed with having it and you don't think of pros/cons of that situation?
Yep...that was me and New York.
I wanted to be here so bad it hurt. I felt the yearning to be here down deep in my soul. And it wasn't a "come to NY to make all my dreams come true" type thing...I just felt I NEEDED to be here and experience life here. And I am, and I did. And it has been an emotional roller coaster ever since.
When I got the job offer from NYU it felt like a blessing. That was my way out of Baltimore and onto bigger and better things. To say I am not sad about leaving Baltimore and Healthy Start would be a lie. I loved that job more than any other one I had (though I am sure I didn't show it) and since then I have been trying to find a way back into maternal and child health...I was just over my life in Maryland. The first half of 2010 was emotionally wrecking, I needed to get out.
Within a month of moving to NY, I wanted to leave. I was depressed beyond words. I don't think a day passed when I wasn't crying. This was not what I came here for. I couldn't explain how deep into despair I was nor did I want to...I was overcome with sadness. Thankfully, I know some dope ass people who invited me everywhere and kept me quiet busy with all day brunches and tea lounges. Maurice, Julius, Rain, and Jessica are such dope ass people and they don't know how much I appreciate being included in their outings, even if it was one day a week. It helped me to not be unhappy all of the time.
I won't recount the whole year but just to overview:
However, I am glad I moved here. There is nowhere else I'd rather be. God willing, next year when I make this thread, it will be 100 times better. That's if the world is not nearing the deadly 2012 apocalypse. And the zombies haven't taken over.
Yep...that was me and New York.
I wanted to be here so bad it hurt. I felt the yearning to be here down deep in my soul. And it wasn't a "come to NY to make all my dreams come true" type thing...I just felt I NEEDED to be here and experience life here. And I am, and I did. And it has been an emotional roller coaster ever since.
When I got the job offer from NYU it felt like a blessing. That was my way out of Baltimore and onto bigger and better things. To say I am not sad about leaving Baltimore and Healthy Start would be a lie. I loved that job more than any other one I had (though I am sure I didn't show it) and since then I have been trying to find a way back into maternal and child health...I was just over my life in Maryland. The first half of 2010 was emotionally wrecking, I needed to get out.
Within a month of moving to NY, I wanted to leave. I was depressed beyond words. I don't think a day passed when I wasn't crying. This was not what I came here for. I couldn't explain how deep into despair I was nor did I want to...I was overcome with sadness. Thankfully, I know some dope ass people who invited me everywhere and kept me quiet busy with all day brunches and tea lounges. Maurice, Julius, Rain, and Jessica are such dope ass people and they don't know how much I appreciate being included in their outings, even if it was one day a week. It helped me to not be unhappy all of the time.
I won't recount the whole year but just to overview:
- I lost the NYU job.
- I got two new jobs that are dope.
- I moved out of my first NYC apt and into a new place with two roommates. I really wanted to blog on this situation but I decided not to. That's how pissed I am about it. I will say this, in case my former roommate is reading: You had the upperhand because I was living in YOUR home. If that hadn't been the case, and if I wasn't worried about you blacking out and throwing my stuff out, things would have been handled differently. I, nor any of my friends, ever disrespected you. I am sorry you felt that I wasn't being "friendly" enough to you. But we had a business arrangement and even after several of your tantrums, I tried to remain civil to you. However, its' for the best. I am where I need to be and hopefully you will find happiness in your own fucked up life one day.
- I lost a good friend (not my roommmate...lls).
- I gained a dope ass friend (my nigga...who I'd name but people will make assumptions and let's just avoid that)
- I spent New Year's Eve in Times Square (killing my bucket list)
- I was on unemployment
However, I am glad I moved here. There is nowhere else I'd rather be. God willing, next year when I make this thread, it will be 100 times better. That's if the world is not nearing the deadly 2012 apocalypse. And the zombies haven't taken over.
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